Hi everyone, my name is Charles. I too, as many, have been freed from the clutches of a new age sect.
The first two years where amazing, I was on sky 49. Then, I started questioning things more and mo re. I was beginning to see more and more errors and inconsistencies. That's when my Guru started changing. He went from soft to downright hard-cold. Then one evening, he confronted me by making me believe he had had a revelation from the heavens concerning my previous life. I was a saint he said, I was three years away from ascending into heaven with my live body without going through the process of death, but, something happened; some kind of a cosmic fluke, you know, something that happens once or twice every 40 billion years or so, nobody knows why (that was me)!
I had succumbed to temptation after 21 years of perfect Chastity, freaked and fell into hypersexuality for the last three years. Consequence ?! I was burried alive in my own coffin. That's for your past life, and as of now, every experience of love, peace and joy that you've experienced these past two years will now be gone. From now on your heart will become dry, and if you want to experience the slitest bit of joy again your going to have to work for it like never before, and yo will have to suffer, like I did etc. And to say that I had given him so much power that from that moment on it was finished, I went from cloud 49 and smacked unto asphalt overnight. It took another two years before I had the strength to cut loose. I suffered a spiritual night that lasted more than 10 years... I was not a saint; it was too much to bear. Alcohool, drugs, nightmares, Chronic anxiety, etc.
Then later, I slowly started to discover myself; my values, my desire to live a new forme of spirituality, but the rude, very rude awakening to realise that there was an endless pit between the new spiritual ideal I wanted to live and the total lack of tools to realise it.
My road to recovery has been long and very painfull. They say not without the grace of GOD but boy did I ever give my yes's. What I have accomplished compared to where I came from is nothing short of a miracle. However, regardless of all my efforts, there is a point beyond wich I could never surpass. I have had to recognise and accept my limits and handicaps and acheiving peace, by realising GOD did not love me for what I could accomplish, but that He loved me because of who I am. NO I am not the hero I wanted to be (100 times bigger than life itself because it was the only way I could feel level with everybody, so poor was my self esteem). I do have a mission, it's to be one of the small ones, and that's OK!
Hi everyone, my name is Charles. I too, as many, have been freed from the clutches of a new age sect.
The first two years where amazing, I was on sky 49. Then, I started questioning things more and mo re. I was beginning to see more and more errors and inconsistencies. That's when my Guru started changing. He went from soft to downright hard-cold. Then one evening, he confronted me by making me believe he had had a revelation from the heavens concerning my previous life. I was a saint he said, I was three years away from ascending into heaven with my live body without going through the process of death, but, something happened; some kind of a cosmic fluke, you know, something that happens once or twice every 40 billion years or so, nobody knows why (that was me)!
I had succumbed to temptation after 21 years of perfect Chastity, freaked and fell into hypersexuality for the last three years. Consequence ?! I was burried alive in my own coffin. That's for your past life, and as of now, every experience of love, peace and joy that you've experienced these past two years will now be gone. From now on your heart will become dry, and if you want to experience the slitest bit of joy again your going to have to work for it like never before, and yo will have to suffer, like I did etc. And to say that I had given him so much power that from that moment on it was finished, I went from cloud 49 and smacked unto asphalt overnight. It took another two years before I had the strength to cut loose. I suffered a spiritual night that lasted more than 10 years... I was not a saint; it was too much to bear. Alcohool, drugs, nightmares, Chronic anxiety, etc.
Then later, I slowly started to discover myself; my values, my desire to live a new forme of spirituality, but the rude, very rude awakening to realise that there was an endless pit between the new spiritual ideal I wanted to live and the total lack of tools to realise it.
My road to recovery has been long and very painfull. They say not without the grace of GOD but boy did I ever give my yes's. What I have accomplished compared to where I came from is nothing short of a miracle. However, regardless of all my efforts, there is a point beyond wich I could never surpass. I have had to recognise and accept my limits and handicaps and acheiving peace, by realising GOD did not love me for what I could accomplish, but that He loved me because of who I am. NO I am not the hero I wanted to be (100 times bigger than life itself because it was the only way I could feel level with everybody, so poor was my self esteem). I do have a mission, it's to be one of the small ones, and that's OK!
Bless you all,
Charles