In my life, boy can I tell you how much I’ve wanted to be accepted. Specifically, in my early teenage years. But, even throughout my life, I could trace the longing for acceptance. Whether people, or environments I wanted people to love me, and accept me.
Acceptance Seems Universal
With almost every person, religion and spirituality it almost seems that they all speak to the longing for acceptance. Humanly speaking, we almost seem to be “hardwired” to need others to approve us. I know this was the case for me growing up. I had to do A-Z to be considered “good” and when I became religious the same rules applied. If I did something, I was good!
This came to an entire mentality, and belief system that I had to do, try to be, give everything of myself just for another person to approve me. What I never realized is that both my fear of rejection, and insecurity of who I truly was hindered me from being myself. But, it seemed to be the case with everyone around me. Everyone was doing, trying, striving to be someone in reality they aren’t. Whether that “cool guy” or that “super righteous person” only came from the longing for acceptance.
Why We Long
There are so many reasons we long for approval, acceptance, and touch. A lot of times it’s simply because it emotionally and psychologically is satisfying to us to be accepted. We have a mindset that being acceptance is the “ultimate goal” to being loved and therefore feel good. Since from birth we have associated loving, warm feelings by being embraced with our loved ones.
In another sense, at times we feel a longing for acceptance perhaps because since the fall of man, mankind is in sort of a “lost predicament.” And in a way to coop we seek for approval from religion, people and things.
In the book, “Beware Christians: Face The Devil” Pamela Sheppard goes into detail about how rejection serves as “method” of the Devil. Since, what happens when we aren’t approved? We are rejected. She writes,
“…rejection as a spiritual warfare issue produces a harvest of evil fruit which can widely vary from one person to another. Some of the common symptoms of rejection include:”
“…rebellion, fake personas, the need to fit in, a desire to always want to be a part of everything, inability to be corrected or to receive constructive criticism, self pity, being love starved, a tendency to blame God for being rejected, pride at being rejected, opinionated personality and a need to always be right, seeking of parental approval, envy, jealousy, insecurity, prideful independence, not able to depend on others because you expect rejection.”
That Unhappy Feeling
“I’m not happy when I try to fake it” rings true from the Commodores. When we have to “put on a show” to receive applause, we no longer are coming from a place of honesty, but from a place of fear.
I know during so many times in my life, I had to do this and that, act and behave like this, ego here ego there, tired efforts to be accepted because I longed to feel good, and avoid the feelings of rejection.
Cure is a strong word, but in the sense of the “cure” for the longing for acceptance is with Christ. However, it is not in the place of YOU accepting Him, but HIM accepting you! True acceptance MUST come from God. You see, I had serious issues of needing to be approved, which made me stuck in the false religious system AND me believing in the false gospel. All of which left my longing for approval untreated.
Once I heard the true Gospel preached by Pastor Pamela Sheppard, I became born-again and at that moment I was accepted by God. What had happened to that desire to be accepted is that it lost it’s power. Of course, do I still have to face acceptance and rejection? Yes, EVERYDAY. However, I am no longer emotionally dependent on others to make me feel good by approving me and what I do.
Get The Help You Need Now
I know that destructive things come from the longing for acceptance and fearing rejection. My insecurities in who I was ran wild, making me do foolish things to be loved.
It’s fair to say that some of us struggle with the longing for acceptance and fear of rejection. I know I did. But, we do not have to struggle and be in bondage to it our whole lives! Our ministry has a task force and the correct equipment for you to be free from people pleasing. We have various services that can aid you fight to simply be who you are and not have to try so hard to be someone you’re not. Check us out!
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