I NEVER UNDERSTOOD what righteousness was in the church. In fact, I did not know what it meant to be righteous. I thought it simply meant “doing what’s right” but it’s a bit more specific than that. There is no question there is a HUGE difference between true righteousness and self righteousness. Let’s look.
My Self Righteousness
“Self” can also mean “soul.” It’s simply the place of self-consciousness, self-life and thought. Every soul has a “moral compass” of right and wrong. In fact, the conscience comes from the spirit (which the soul is a vessel of) born again or not. When I was supernaturally told to read the Bible by a voice (that later turned out not to be God) I began my walk as a self-righteous person.
Even though I had renounced my occult practices upon reading the Law, and repented with tears, I did not have true conviction of the Holy Spirit. It was merely my “soul” and surfaced in nature. A combination of accusing religious spirits “convicting me” of my sin. It was more like an “old fashioned” Old Testament repentance of “turn from wicked deeds, and walk with God.” My repentance then, because it was not of God meant that I was not righteous. You see, you have to BE righteous in order to achieve true righteousness. The error of my self-righteousness was that I did not have this blessed BE from God, but from ME, MYSELF AND I.
Self-Righteousness—A Further Analysis
The “foundation” of self-righteousness entirely RESTS upon the person’s own soul (or self). All the “righteous deeds” done are from the SELF, and therefore “filthy rags” because they are done under the old creation or “flesh.”
I also noticed that, I did not understand what it MEANT to BE made righteous. During my self-righteous era, I was confused about the Gospel. I thought that the Cross and Christ dying is what made me righteous. “Eh” kind of. But, let’s see the full truth about this and the difference between true and self righteousness.
The truth is the blood of Christ of His death on the Cross atones for the sins: spirit, soul, and body; but the actual “being made” righteous comes from the faith of God given to you to BELIEVE in the RESURRECTION OF JESUS OF NAZARETH. Because the Resurrection of Christ from the dead by the Spirit is what JUSTIFIED HIM before the Father. “And being made in the likeness of His death” and so forth with His Resurrection, WE HAVE THAT JUSTIFICATION CHRIST ALSO HAD (STILL HAS) BEING MADE ALIVE FROM THE DEAD!
But, I did not have true godly faith in the Resurrection when I was self-righteous, and therefore “still in my sins” and unjustified and “unrighteous.”
When the Holy Spirit led me to repentance, it was surreal. First of all, unlike my other “repentances” I was actually drawn to the Cross of Jesus of Nazareth during it. It was like I was facing the Cross, alone. As I was “approaching” His Cross I received simple revelation that, despite my goodness, I was far separated from God. Literally “cut off.”
Before I repented, I was first brought to this sorrow. It was like I was the reason Christ was on the Cross. I wept for the pain I caused Him BECAUSE OF MY SIN. It was so deep, I didn’t even speak. Everything in me was sorrowful. From there I moved into an inward repentance. This repentance though, wasn’t anything crazy. The best way I can explain it was the Holy Spirit flipped my remorse into repentance, sort of like a coin being flipped. Once that godly sorrow kicked in, “flip” repentance occurred.
All of this happened in the farthest parts of me, and felt timeless (although it was just a moment). I didn’t even have words. I just knew at that moment deep within how my sinfulness personally hurt the Lord. Then the Holy Spirit brought in me repentance. Soon enough after that, I was given faith to believe in the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. And BAM, I became a new creation. I remember looking at my hands in shock, like “What just happened?!”
I recently had an occurrence were I thought I sinned. And I thought I willingly sinned, and therefore was on the merge of losing my salvation. It was a supernatural set-up.
I woke up one morning in a very passive state of mind. Almost like between sleep and wake. In an instance, I had a strong sexual rush and feeling come upon my head. I felt like I needed to resist it, but I tapped into it for a few seconds. I imagine a women with nice breasts and then in seconds (without touching myself) I had an orgasm.
Right after it happened I was terrified, lost my peace, because I was “convicted” I masturbated essentially. I “repented” and cried and was sad. But, after that no peace. Accusation after accusation about it continued and it was killing me. Soon enough I talk to Pastor Pam about it, and got some clarity. Well, I NEVER SINNED. What happened was my body simply released it’s bodily functions. My body was going to naturally do this (ie. nocturnal emission) while I was sleeping. But I slightly awoke RIGHT as it was happening. Hmm….. too good of timing?
One thing that struck me with all this was when Pastor Pam asked about the repentance, “Did that come from the Spirit or your self?” And, for a moment I HAD NO CLUE. And upon her counsel, I realized that it was entirely of my SELF as well as the enemy working. This is why we must distinguish the difference between true repentance; and true and self righteousness.
I received revelations from this instance. Satan has an agenda working with the Antichrist to bring false repentance at any spiritual stage. This repentance is not inspired of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is DEEP with conviction and will lead you to a place of TRUE inward sorrow centered on CHRIST. Whereas the counterfeit remorse and repentance is SURFACED, emotional, centered on SELF and based from accusations and not conviction.
What then occurs as a fruit of Satan’s counterfeit repentance is a deceived righteousness. And, not to mention following after “the voice of another shepherd (ie. The Antichrist).” Satan ultimately wants us to follow his Antichrist in spirit or when revealed in the flesh. Even if it’s because of listening to his accusations and establishing a self-righteousness.
WE must be on guard and know that true righteousness is a STATE OF BEING from God by His faith given to us to believe in the RESURRECTION OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. There is no other way man can be considered righteous before GOD! Also, we must discern the difference between true and self righteousness. True and self repentance, lest we be deceived!