T.D. Jakes' comments on Black Women
Recently, Megachurch Pastor T.D. Jakes had a sermon on Father’s Day 2022 entitled “Real Men Pour In.” This came to the ministry’s attention after it set off a wave of backlash across social media as people suggested that Jakes made comments that were misogynistic, disparaging and critical of black women.
Jakes claimed that black families are struggling to exist as a strong, loving unit because men and women are failing to balance each other out for the sake of nurturing a family. He went so far as to say that women are “too masculine.” I went to go view his sermon to see what he had to say for myself.
I was appalled at what I saw and heard.
Here is a list of statements Jakes made about women throughout his sermon:
- “We [men] were not designed to receive from women”
- “Your self-esteem is compromised when you have to ask your wife for lunch money”
- “When Adam started eating out of his wife’s hand, sin came in because the divine order was broken”
- “We [men] are designed to pour into you. And you are designed to take what we pour into you and increase it, and make it better.”
- “This breaks all sociological order of the culture that we’re living in now, because we are raising up women to be men.”
- “And you are not applauded for your femininity. You are applauded by the contemporary society for how tough, rough, nasty, mean, aggressive, hateful, possessive you are and you’re climbing the corporate ladder, but we are losing our families.”
- “I know you can buy your own car, I know you can buy your own house, but until you create a need that I can pour into, I have no place in your life.”
How can we not receive from a woman, when we received life from one? How can one’s self-esteem be so fragile that it breaks when asking for help from a lover? Why should a woman be shamed for pursuing a career, autonomy and independence in a society that has long sought to take these things from her?
I was disturbed that Jakes could say these things with a straight face. When the camera shot out into the audience, I saw many young women who are in their formative years watching him and listening. I worry for how many people are believing in his message.
The underlying issue with T.D. Jakes’ opinion of black women and how they act is that he is operating on a very narrow, archaic point of view on what the “role” of a woman is in modern society. There is nothing Godly about what he said.
It is a sad thing that the progress women have made to make a better life for themselves is still getting pushed back against on such a large scale.
History has shown that women have been oppressed and limited throughout the ages, expected to be subservient to a husband and relegated to being a caretaker of children and taking care of the home. Yet the times are changing; recently in America they have been able to have more freedoms than in other periods of history because they can educate themselves and compete in the workforce.
In fact, womens’ participation in the workforce is at a higher number than ever before.[1] This has led to many women being able to make a life for themselves without depending on anyone else and climb up to positions of influence and power in their respective fields. This is something that should we celebrate! The majority of the population can now build a life for themselves.
Yet it’s clear that T.D. Jakes has no regard for this. Comments like a woman “creating a need that a man can pour into” are woefully misguided and a sexist attempt at trying to tug the current times back into the 1700s.
Femininity & Masculinity in Christ
My friends, we must turn this discussion to instead put the focus on God and highlight His wonderful glory and brilliance in how he has designed both men and women, as well as the masculine and feminine in both of them.
The truth is that God has both masculine and feminine traits, and a strong person has a balance of both types of traits. Godly masculine traits include faithfulness, protectiveness, walking in truth, courage, commitment and spirituality. Godly feminine traits include nurturing, grace, mercy, caring and affectionate.
Two of the most beautiful and profound characteristics of God are the mercy and grace He has given His elect as His children and, yes, those are feminine traits!
To take this a step further, we can see in scripture that God has used the image of a woman to illustrate His Godly characteristics such as:
- Comforting God’s people like a mother to a child (Isaiah 66:13)
- God hovering over His children like a mother eagle over her chicks (Deuteronomy 32:11)
- God never forgetting His children like a woman never forgetting her nursing child (Isaiah 49:15)
A man having feminine traits to balance his masculine and a woman having masculine traits to balance out her feminine are something to be commended! This means they are a more complete person. Can you imagine how beautifully they can contribute to a loving family and/or relationship when either a balanced man or woman is paired with a partner that complements them yet is also balanced?
If the human race is created in God’s image, and God has both masculine and feminine traits, how much greater is a woman if she has those masculine traits that He has? It’s glorious to think about, and this all relates to what it means to grow spiritually in the Lord Jesus Christ!
The ministry is all about working on one’s soul. Part of that process is getting in touch with oneself and developing in a Godly way. This includes getting to know oneself and embracing both the masculine and feminine traits that can be used in the individual to serve God. If you find yourself seeking spiritual growth in Christ, give PSM a call at 888-818-1117 or email deliverancecounseling@yahoo.com.
[1] Bleiweis, Robin Senior. “Quick Facts About the Gender Wage Gap.” Center for American Progress, 24 Mar. 2020, https://www.americanprogress.org/article/quick-facts-gender-wage-gap/.